So you came back last night.
Last night, I was feeling really down and emo. I needed someone that is close enough to be with me, to listen to me.
I haven't been feeling well for a month already. It started with a bacterial tonsillitis, recovered, had another mild sore throat which doctor said was viral, recovered, had mild sore throat, recovered, had mild sore throat, did throat swab, confirmed not bacterial... I have been worrying a lot, I am afraid that these will the symptoms of me catching HIV. I had an encounter, but it was with condom, but still I am worried that there may be chances...It's actually been more than 13 weeks now and I have had two tests done recently, all came back negative.
You told me that it's all mental. Yes, that's what I needed to hear, someone who is beside me to reassure me that everything's fine. It is probably mental or something like glandular fever that takes longer for my body to fully recover.
When you first gave me that hug last night, I just couldn't stop myself from crying. All that sadness, loneliness that I have experienced these few weeks, when I tried to isolate myself from you to prevent us to go back together. I have been telling myself that I should hate you so that I have a reason to forget about you and move on. I didn't expect myself to be so sad until you hugged me.
You had to go home just now. I wish I could say please stay here with me forever but I know it's not going to happen. That will just scare you away. I have to pretend that it's ok, pretend that I won't die without you.
I start to think about you already. Thinking about what you could be thinking. I dunno if it's right to be so emotionally attached to you.
Last night, I was feeling really down and emo. I needed someone that is close enough to be with me, to listen to me.
I haven't been feeling well for a month already. It started with a bacterial tonsillitis, recovered, had another mild sore throat which doctor said was viral, recovered, had mild sore throat, recovered, had mild sore throat, did throat swab, confirmed not bacterial... I have been worrying a lot, I am afraid that these will the symptoms of me catching HIV. I had an encounter, but it was with condom, but still I am worried that there may be chances...It's actually been more than 13 weeks now and I have had two tests done recently, all came back negative.
You told me that it's all mental. Yes, that's what I needed to hear, someone who is beside me to reassure me that everything's fine. It is probably mental or something like glandular fever that takes longer for my body to fully recover.
When you first gave me that hug last night, I just couldn't stop myself from crying. All that sadness, loneliness that I have experienced these few weeks, when I tried to isolate myself from you to prevent us to go back together. I have been telling myself that I should hate you so that I have a reason to forget about you and move on. I didn't expect myself to be so sad until you hugged me.
You had to go home just now. I wish I could say please stay here with me forever but I know it's not going to happen. That will just scare you away. I have to pretend that it's ok, pretend that I won't die without you.
I start to think about you already. Thinking about what you could be thinking. I dunno if it's right to be so emotionally attached to you.
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