Last night, I was feeling really down and emo. I needed someone that is close enough to be with me, to listen to me.
I haven't been feeling well for a month already. It started with a bacterial tonsillitis, recovered, had another mild sore throat which doctor said was viral, recovered, had mild sore throat, recovered, had mild sore throat, did throat swab, confirmed not bacterial... I have been worrying a lot, I am afraid that these will the symptoms of me catching HIV. I had an encounter, but it was with condom, but still I am worried that there may be chances...It's actually been more than 13 weeks now and I have had two tests done recently, all came back negative.
You told me that it's all mental. Yes, that's what I needed to hear, someone who is beside me to reassure me that everything's fine. It is probably mental or something like glandular fever that takes longer for my body to fully recover.
I'm 22. I'm gay. I'm still in the closet, living two separate lives.
I have had a blog during my college years back in the 2008/9, and it was written in Mandarin. I have abandoned the blog as I lost the motivation to keep writing there mainly because my readers knew me, as a 'normal', straight boy who was just a little bit more emo than a typical teenager. My sisters who read my blog back then will sometimes share what they have read with my parents, hence I couldn't really write about my innermost thoughts and feelings.
I have always been an avid blog reader, sifting through blogs through blogs, especially those written by the other gays. They provided me with a sense of belonging, with updates about their lives, their relationships, their friends, etc. I envy the comments and the encouragements they received as they are able to share their stories to others whom they may or may not know outside the blogosphere.
I believe that every person has their storie…