The Untold Stories

So last weekend, I met up with someone from Jack'd. I think at this stage of my life I'm quite willing to meet anyone who is decent and knows how to maintain a good conversation. Anyone who is not only interested in asking where I'm from, how long I have been in Australia, and whether I'm top or bottom, sex, etc. This guy turned out to be a good 'conversationalist'. It was like ping pong. We kept talking and talking and talking. Since people say it takes two hands to clap, I guess I was doing quite well in talking too? Like Jay, he likes to travel, to not so safe countries, and no fancy hotels. Reminded me of Jay. It also reminded me of my first meeting with Jay. We talked for hours, from a dinner place to a dessert place. And until today, every time I passed by the dessert place, I would be glad that the place was still there, but at the same time I wouldn't want to go in. Strange. I can't find sparks anymore with any of these guys I have met. N...

The last couple of days were spent with Jay's friends from overseas. Felt good that he actually entrusted his friends to me for a day. Also, more importantly, I saw how generous and kind he was to his friends, even though they were not that close. There was a bit of 'drama' on the last day, most probably because I was stressed with the upcoming transitions. But hey, I still managed to pull through, and fortunately he did too. He's matured and considerate, most of the time la. And one thing I really like about him is that he knew how to make me feel that he cared about me, when we were out with friends. He would hold my hands when we had the chance to, he would cut some food and put on my plate, etc. SO SWEET <3 Just got my results today. Not the best, but satisfactory la. Slightly disappointed at first, but I told myself that I should be grateful. I was literally at point zero six months ago. Now that I have successfully completed my course, not with flying c...

Jay. I want to write about Jay. Hmm..i don't have supernatural powers so I don't know how things will be like a month or a year from now. But I believe it's always better to pen my thoughts down for the moment as they are still fresh. How many time have we gone out. 1st time meeting him, we had chinese food and we walked to a random cafe for coffee and cake where I told him quite a lot about me. 2nd time, we had Din Tai Fung and we ordered quite a lot. No pics unfortunately as the lighting wasn't really good for photos. For dessert, I ordered a tiramisu and a red velvet but he was too full already to have them. Wasted food. But I was kinda happy that day as I just got some $$. 3rd time, it was last Thursday, the day before Good Friday. He decided the place this time. It was Thai. The food was okay. We had turmeric spatchcock and Pad Thai and some rice paper rolls as starters (should be viet right? I don't know). For dessert, we walked to the Star casino,...

Emailed my supervisor yesterday, asking for the meeting scheduled today to be canceled because I haven't done enough preparation/work to meet with her yet.  I was super nervous in the past few days as I got an email from one of the firms, asking me to complete an online interview.  So I couldn't work on my research and had to spend time, thinking about questions they might ask me so that I could prepare the answers!  Luckily my friend was very helpful and generous with sharing her experience with me, and a 'new friend' I met on Jack'D that gave me some very useful tips too.  I had about 7 days to work on my research (as i meet with my supervisor weekly). The first 4 days just burnt, because I was lazy. The remaining 3 days, because of the interview. So I am one week behind my schedule now!! The supervisor replied this morning, saying it was ok to call off the meeting, but she asked 'do you mind telling me what you did during the week?'. I ...

18888, an auspicious number . Thanks for visiting this space.  Another week has passed... Nothing special really, but isn't it nice to have a normal, ordinary, uneventful week? The weather here in Sydney has been quite erratic in the last few days. Weatherzone, which is usually very reliable (with its 'next 48 hours' forecast especially), had predicted the weather wrongly for quite a few times in just last week. There were thunderstorms. Very rare. Thunder/ Lightning is almost a once-a-year-thing for Sydney. The good thing about thunderstorms is that they pass by fairly quickly. They don't linger for days. So we still got to enjoy the warmth from the sun. While I was walking (I couldn't remember if it was today or another day), I suddenly realised how much peace I had at that moment. Really, the peace that was totally elusive in 2013. Suddenly, I realised I was having it back. How wonderful! Yes, I am still stressed by the loads of readings that I...

steamed fish with garlic and soy sauce? very tasty! Apple Chicken. Maybe the apple was shredded? I only had the chicken though Finally got the chance to meet up with Hx ever since he got back to Sydney. It was Mardi Gras parade last night, but both of us didn't feel like going to watch the parade. It was rainy, wet and cold in Sydney. So, we decided to meet up anyway for dinner. He brought his bf's sis with him. Ok, I haven't gotten Hx's permission, but i guess he wouldn't know I am writing about him! (so unethical eh!) So, Hx's bf is a Thai. During his recent trip to Thailand, he even visited his bf's parents. And, they were so super open about it. The bf was out to the parents already. But what shocked me was that the parents actually questioned Hx about his role- Top  or Bottom! Anyway, the sis just came to Sydney to study too and so they are living together. I don't know how it works out with the sex part since all three of them ar...

Spotted @ Kinokuniya Sydney  5 more days to home!!  Had lunch with some ex-uni mates today in the City. Had Teriyaki Fish with rice (with two slices of Salmon sashimi, piece of radish, bowl of miso soup, and salad) for $13.80. The teriyaki fish was quite nice, tasted fresh.  Walked around the city afterwards. There's less people in Sydney compared to last week which is a good thing.  Before I went home, I went to pee and two guys, one on each end of the row of urinals, were playing with their dicks! I knew things like this were happening but rarely so obvious. I stood next to one of them, quickly finished my business and left.  With 5 more days to home, the feeling is mixed.  I miss seeing my family, miss spending time with them. I haven't been in my new house for more than 3 months (cumulatively). And my bedroom is still very new.  But at the same time, I am worried that I will be worried.  I have got...

Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know...well now they know....Let it go...Let it go...Can't hold it back anymore...I don't care....what they are going to say.... Just noticed that I haven't written anything for more than a week! Feeling pretty sleepy now but hopefully I am still able to write down the happenings for the past week Went out with a few housemates to watch the Disney movie, Frozen today. It's the first day this movie is shown in Australia. Heard about it from a blogger few weeks ago and that it was good. I didn't grow up with Disney hence I am pretty dumb with the Disney stories. And I wasn't really into watching cartoons. For me, going to the cinema for a cartoon was pretty much a waste of money. But, Frozen was so so so awesome! I was deeply touched, by the singing, the lyrics, the graphics and most important of all, the story itself. As a gay, a closeted one, a gay that loves his family, a gay that is confused, a gay that ...

It's been a week since my last post! The week has passed by so quickly..Actually I am quite glad that it did. Nothing really exciting has happened really. I've been going to the gym on a more regular basis and my housemates have started to joke about it whenever they saw me leaving for the gym. During the week, I visited the community library just 200 meters away from home. Becoming a member is free and one is allowed to borrow up to 40 items. The collection there was surprisingly exhaustive though it's just a community library. I tried looking up for books that I had bought/read recently (Gaysia by Benjamin Law, Exposure by Michael Woodford) and they had them. I haven't been reading a lot (fictional books I mean) and it's been a really long time since I stepped into a library looking for a book to read for pleasure. I didn't know where to start. There were so many racks and shelves and with only the spines of the books displayed, I found it really har...

On Friday, after finishing earlier at work and failing to really have a nap, I was on my way to meet Ben.  The plan was to have a bit of chat at a cafe before attending Acceptance Sydney's mass at 8pm.  Took a cab as I was running late, as always. Ben and his partner were there waiting for me.  There was a night when I finally gathered the courage to tell Ben about the problems that I am facing. We were talking on the phone, but I think I did tell him all the essentials.  That night, he didn't tell me exactly what to do or what not to do. He said I should remember one thing, to learn to love myself so that I know how to love my neighbors, because the Bible says love your neighbors like how you love yourself.  Again this time, I don't think I am getting 'the answer'. Perhaps there is no answer? I don't know. I guess I am probably being lazy? Waiting for someone to tell me exactly what to do?  So they asked me quite a few questions. For...

I've had a really boring and dull weekend. Despite the skype sessions I had with the cutie from the faraway land, with my parents, sisters and aunt, there was basically nothing exciting at all.  Oh yea, I met up with a 42 y.o guy yesterday. He's been asking me out so since I had nothing to do, I finally agreed to meet him. The reluctance to meet at first was due to the fact that he's much older than me and I thought it could be hard for us to have common interests and even less possible for us to date. Anyway, he looked quite different from the pic, as he's grown quite a lot horizontally I guess. It was however an okay chat session, dun think we will ever meet again.  This is my lunch today. A beef, egg, bacon burger, with some garden salad and chips. And needless to say, the flat white is a must-have for me. I eat alone most of the time because I have no friends!  Yes, I said it, BECAUSE I CAN. LOL.  It's a very difficult thing, I noticed, fo...

Attended the birthday party of a friend today.  Woke up by the alarm at 8.15 but fell back to sleep till 9.30. Bought a Lychee, Lime & Coconut muffin and a cup of flat white for breakfast. Talked to the housemates in the lounge room though I knew I was running late. That's me, always late.  On the train, i saw a boy around the age of 7 or 8 with his granny. I enjoyed listening (eavesdropping) to their conversation.  They had a magazine filled with different types of desserts for the upcoming Christmas I supposed. The boy was reminding his granny that she promised to buy him something from the EB store. The granny, of course, said that she had forgotten about the promise.  This reminded me about my childhood. I am really fortunate to have had grandparents looking after me. And I could still remember the little sweet moments I spent with them vividly. They are the best grandparents.  I wanted to tell the boy so much that please cherish you...

Went to the uni today to hand in some documents for the future casual employment.  Dropped by at the university's book store to browse through the cool gadgets they are selling.  Although it's a uni book store, they are selling stuff like battery packs for smartphones, phone cases, stethoscopes for medical students, tshirts with uni logo emblazoned on them, and some toys.  I came across this.  Well this reminded me of my ex. On the very first day we met, I was invited to his place.  Was impressed with the collection of cameras he had. Lomo, and some other I dun know what to call cameras (hyphen needed). At least I had something to ask him and so the conversation could continue that time haha..  He told me how he made the camera himself, something I hadn't heard of. Now I've seen it myself finally.  Sometimes I really wonder if he thinks about me at all. Just like how I think about him when I see things that conjure up all those memories.  Also, I ...

I have just finished watching the 41-episode TVB drama, Triumph In the Skies 2. Was feeling meh with it in the earlier episodes but the last episode really touched my heart. Captain Cool had some quite meaningful thoughts towards the end of the show. About Guardian Angel. It made me think, where is my Guardian Angel? Do I, Did I, or Will I have one? Sometimes, it is not that straightforward. Sometimes, you need that very moment to be certain about who is the right person. Does it count when you long for someone's presence when you are in deep shit but then he's not there with you or he simply doesn't care? My ex and I were 'together' for about a year. Time passed really quickly during that year. Although there were lots of arguments, and even heart-breaking moments, it was sweet, at least i think so. It's been almost 6 months. Days passed rather quickly too. I wonder if it is the effect of being depressed. There is simply nothing to look for...

Though it's titled this way, you are still allowed to read it if you want to.  Thanks for dropping by, reading my mundane posts and spending that minute or two to leave me a comment or send me an email. Thank you.  The past few days have been quite 'peaceful'. At least, on the surface.  I had another test done yesterday and got the results today. It's all good and it's been 8 weeks.  The counsellor said that when one is irrational, he will still try to rationalise his acts/thoughts and try to make them look rational to himself. I am not sure if this is what I've been doing.  But as far as the test is concerned, there are a few reasons why I am still not 100 percent convinced.  1. I had taken some traditional chinese medicine, on and off, for a about ten days or so in total, after 28 days post the unprotected oral incident.  There were studies done and it was proven that some chinese herbs have anti-HIV properties. How much he...

Had a test done today. It's the 38th day post the unprotected oral sex I had. The last test I had was on the 34th day. Because I am worried about the 'second diagnostic window' with 4th generation tests. It's something technical but not too difficult to understand. Since 4th generation tests look for both the antigens and antibodies, and antigens and antibodies 'neutralize' each other when they form 'complexes', there is a possible period during which detectable antigen level is low and detectable antibody level is also low. If you wan to know more you can google it. But with the newer, improved versions of 4th generation tests, the sensitivity for both antigen and antibody has been increased. Hence, further reducing the possibility of this already rare second window. I am kinda worried because of the diarrhea and gastrointestinal discomfort I had in the last week or so Besides that, my eyes are kinda red and dry. Just worried. Anyway, after ...

Had a long but fun day yesterday. Dragged myself to the gym for my second yoga class. This time there were slightly more people, around 15 of us. The instructor was also different this time, a White lady in her 40s maybe. The class was harder this time. We were always given the option to do the simpler version or the more advanced version. No pressure. We focused a lot on the legs and hips, similar to the first class. I found myself shaking a lot. It's quite embarrassing actually coz nobody else was shaking like me. So weak. I should be the youngest in the class haha. I was a bit concerned as the instructor used Buddhist hymns while the previous one we only had normal light music. But I guess it's ok as long as I know I am only there for the exercise. Nothing religious. After the class I went to McD for lunch. But as usual, I skipped the fries and soft drinks and ordered two burgers and a cup of coffee. Played one game on Dota and then prepared myself to go out with...

Finally...typing something out now. The past few days have passed quite quickly, which is a good thing. What's new? First time wearing contact lenses. Have always wanted to try it. Made up my mind and walked into Specsavers, got a comprehensive eye check (covered by Medicare) and had the optometrist ordered a pair of trial lenses for me. Was told to wait for a week but got a call the next day (on Thursday) that the lenses were ready for me. They had a staff to teach me how to put the lenses in. It was hard but I was really excited! Wasn't as difficult as what friends had told me. Been trying them for a few hours in the past few days. I think the optometrist failed to give me the best prescription. It's a little bit blurry, and kinda difficult for me to read stuff on the computer. I asked a friend of mine who also has astigmatism of greater than 2.25 and who is wearing a toric lens, and she told me it's ok with hers. Will try to contact the optometrist nex...

Woke up with 3 notifications from Blogger.  Tuls  left me comments:) He read my blog. I was of course feeling happy but also a bit..'weird?' at the same time. I still don't see myself as a blogger yet, and it feels kinda different to know that the people behind those blogs that I've been reading read my blog. As for other bloggers, you mean just as much to me. You know who you are. Since I started writing, since I got myself into PEP, you guys have been here to encourage me, to support me. Thank you so much :) I got myself tested for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea yesterday. It's 5 days from the last sex I had. I received unprotected oral sex. And I could feel some slight sensation (hot maybe) when I pee. Yes, I am in a state of worrying actually. I know with Chlamydia and Gonorrhea, they can be treated quite easily. What I'm worried is hiv risk. From the internet, from the sexual health nurse I saw yesterday, they all told me that receiving oral sex without a cond...

So, today is Saturday (already). As I told my supervisor yesterday, on my hand I hope the days go by quickly so that I could stop worrying but on the other hand, I wish I could have time to do my thesis. I managed to persuade the doctor to let me do the HCV PCR Qualitative test to test for Hep C. It must be God's blessings that she is a gay too! So, the first thing I said to her was: Hmm, I am gay, do you mind? And she answered: I'm gay too :) But I did lie to her. I didn't tell her that I was put on PEP. Instead I told her that I was exposed to someone who has Hep C. This is because I needed to persuade her to give me the test. Went straight to the pathology after that, and I was actually worried that the 'collector', the guy who drew my blood would not know how to process/store the blood before it was taken to the central lab. So I kept giving some 'reminders' like, 'oh, so you are going to freeze it first right?', 'oh, so what happens afte...