Skip to main content

Sparks

So last weekend, I met up with someone from Jack'd. I think at this stage of my life I'm quite willing to meet anyone who is decent and knows how to maintain a good conversation. Anyone who is not only interested in asking where I'm from, how long I have been in Australia, and whether I'm top or bottom, sex, etc.

This guy turned out to be a good 'conversationalist'. It was like ping pong. We kept talking and talking and talking. Since people say it takes two hands to clap, I guess I was doing quite well in talking too?

Like Jay, he likes to travel, to not so safe countries, and no fancy hotels. Reminded me of Jay.

It also reminded me of my first meeting with Jay. We talked for hours, from a dinner place to a dessert place. And until today, every time I passed by the dessert place, I would be glad that the place was still there, but at the same time I wouldn't want to go in. Strange.

I can't find sparks anymore with any of these guys I have met. No sparks at all. Not even the tiniest bit.

Of course I still get an erection whenever I came across pictures of hunky guys with strong abs, but right after ejaculaion, the erection would be gone.

Jay is totally not the hunky type, though he could be an iron man when he needed to be. Sometimes I really wondered what is it in him that made it so hard for me to let him go. I couldn't really pin point something. Perhaps when there's sparks, u stop seeing a man as invidual customisable parts (six packs, eyes, teeth) but as a package, as Him.

Comments

  1. Is this the first sign of moving on? I hope so :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"You are not that important anymore"

Right now, I am falling to pieces. 
Everything. Every single thing in my life seems to have fallen apart. 
Jay called me and asked for 30 mins of my time tonight. He drove over. I went downstairs and we talked in the car. 
To be honest, I wasn't expecting him to be blaming himself for everything, say sorry, and ask for my forgiveness. That would be too ideal. 
Actually I didn't even know what to hope for when he called me. I proclaimed yesterday that I am single again. I have plenty of reasons to leave him for good. In fact, I have too many. 
I guessed when he called me asking to come over tonight, I was hoping for some peaceful closure. 
I tried very hard to keep the emotions inside. I tried to act cool. Showing contempt even. Acted as if I didn't really need the apology he offered. Acted as if I had achieved self-actualisation and 'love' was something I didn't care about. 
He started off by apologising for the pain that he caused in the past few weeks. It was…

First dildo experience

For the sake of 'brightening' my blog a bit, hence the title.

I will get to the dildo later.

Firstly, thank you to those of you who are still following this little space of mine. Thanks for taking interest in my life though most, if not all of you don't know me personally.

Thanks for leaving the comments.

Managed to get an appointment this afternoon at the sexual health clinic. Zoe, the nurse at this clinic that usually sees me, said that she thought we just met not long ago. Indeed that was the case.

So I told her about the risk. I told her I only wanted a test. Had the test. It's been more than 6 weeks.

She said she wouldn't be too concerned about it. But anyway she let me had the test.

I noticed that the feverish feeling I am having (dry and warm eyes, warm limbs, warm body, body aches, probably mild fever) usually starts in the afternoon.

I am researching about this thing 阴虚内热. So it's about the Yin being deficient, making the Yang too high and hence the &#…

Teach me how to cry

It sucks.

For the past few nights I have been trying to cry to make myself feel better. But no matter how hard I have tried there's still no tears. 
I looked at the oldest photos I have on my iphone, those taken within the last two years. I have changed. The relationship had changed too. I have aged. My face was slimmer, I looked younger and more cheerful, or cuter. We used to take lots of 'sweet' photos together. Random photos u took of me. Naked,half naked. We would dine out together more on Friday nights. And we would take photos of the food AND of us, but then gradually, only photos of the food. 
I failed to cry maybe because I am afraid of being the 'stupid' one. "What if, actually you never quite liked/loved me?" "What if u thought I was ugly with my acnes?" "What if I was really standing in your way in the last few months, disturbing you when u perhaps had moved on and was dating someone when I kept texting you?" Or worse, "…