The Untold Stories

I had just finished reading a book last night. Because of what I do, I read a lot, but reading is limited to academic materials. I am picky when it comes to reading for pleasure. Harry Potter is still the best hands down. A book has to be able to sustain my interest. I don't have a favourite author, nor a genre. And every time I walked into a book store in the last 5 years at least, I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choice, and ended up buying nothing. Last week, I googled for a book recommendation. I came across this book, entitled  When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi . It came out as the top 10 books to read now , across different websites. After having read the synopsis and a few reviews I decided the book was a must-buy. Paul, the author, has died, before the book was completed and published. He was an extremely talented neurosurgeon and neuroscientist, almost completing his residency and it was at the pinnacle of his career that he was diagnosed with lung ...

This is just another lonely night. Perhaps this is what my body is telling me to be. There are people that I could (re)connect with, technically. Like the ex-housemates, like the (ex)friends from uni, like some of you that I have made personal contact with, etc. But I don't feel like meeting people, or even talking to people. I am on Jack'D and I don't feel like even replying to msgs. Sometimes I even forgot I have Jack'D. When I was with my First, he liked to rent DVDs from those kiosks/vending machines sometimes but I liked going to the cinemas instead. I had never thought about renting DVDs until last weekend. My internet quota was almost reached, and I had nothing better to do. And so, in an effort to up my own mood a little, I decided to give it a try. I rented <<Kingsman the Secret Service>> and was surprised that it was on special, only costed me $1. The next day I watched <<Avengers...Ultron>>, costed me $2. Kingsman was more my thi...

Nothing really special. Slept in until 11am? How do you define  sleeping in? I woke up multiple times, to pee, to have breakfast, to have a quick look at the phone, then allowing myself to wander back into dreamland. I have decided to 'do something about my life'! LOL Seriously, I can't keep spending money on food, etc and not being productive. Being a student, I should be studying  as hard as I can right? So I stopped myself from switching my Macbook to windows mode, so that I don't play Dota. (Oh, by the way, I recently learned to play this new hero, it's a Phoenix, so cool, I learned fast, ...., but let's forget about it for now) Arrived at the library at around 1pm and stayed there till 5pm. Didn't know that it closes at 5 on Fridays now. Did some reading, quite productive la, given that journal articles aren't really that user-friendly. Having some cash flows problems recently. Can't really write about the details here. But I should ...

Finished this! I finished a book, 454 pages!!!  It's been so long since I last read a book from start to the end.  For Gaysia, and the family law (both by Benjamin law) I covered 90 percent of it. Since they are not fictional and each chapter doesn't relate to other chapters, I could easily leave out chapters that i did didn't find very interesting.  It's the first Grisham's book that I read. It's 'ok', not as 'thrilling' as it advertised itself to be ('from the bestseller of legal thriller').  I like legal dramas/ stories and real stories from people who are similar to me (gays) and whom I can relate to.  Any recommendations on what I can read next? 

It's been a week since my last post! The week has passed by so quickly..Actually I am quite glad that it did. Nothing really exciting has happened really. I've been going to the gym on a more regular basis and my housemates have started to joke about it whenever they saw me leaving for the gym. During the week, I visited the community library just 200 meters away from home. Becoming a member is free and one is allowed to borrow up to 40 items. The collection there was surprisingly exhaustive though it's just a community library. I tried looking up for books that I had bought/read recently (Gaysia by Benjamin Law, Exposure by Michael Woodford) and they had them. I haven't been reading a lot (fictional books I mean) and it's been a really long time since I stepped into a library looking for a book to read for pleasure. I didn't know where to start. There were so many racks and shelves and with only the spines of the books displayed, I found it really har...

Just sharing a few interesting passages from the book I am reading. [Being Gay, Being Christian: You Can Be Both by Stuart Edser] Likening the life of a gay to the life of an undercover 'Perhaps an example might help. Think of those police officers who go undercover to join crime gangs or the underworld. They have to immerse themselves fully in the harsh realities of the criminal culture, with all its cruelty, greed, deceit and barbarism. They are forced to act and behave in every way contrary to their own nature, their own sense of morality. They must adopt the criminals culture's ways of living, talking, laughing, loving, eating, drinking, driving, playing, dressing. It is nothing short of total immersion and they must act this way 24 hours a day lest they be discovered'.  It is immensely painful to lead a life like this (and We know it) 'After their undercover work is complete, it is not uncommon for them to end up in a psychologist's consulting rooms for...

Don't know what to write, as I don't know what I'm currently thinking and What I should be thinking. Health Tested negative last Tuesday, which was about a week post PEP. My next test is scheduled on Tuesday. Still not feeling very well, sweaty palms, anxiety, lymph nodes on neck still swollen, still having mild sore throat. Went to see a Chinese doctor last week, got some herbs to drink. I know I wouldn't be able to relax my mind fully until at least 4 weeks post PEP. Trying hard to cheer myself up. But don't really feel like going to friends. I have a feeling that I am burdening them with my negative emotions. Relationship Jeff, the Chinese guy that I dated, came again on Friday night. I had a feeling that he might be a boring person like me as he didn't have plans, didn't know where to bring me and we ended up having tea and chit chat at the same restaurant. Did something stupid. I created a Jack'D account on my old phone, pretending to ...