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Showing posts from January, 2014

First 5 days at home

Strangely, I am not feeling all joyful, definitely not in euphoria.

Firstly, my routine gets disrupted. I haven't touched the book that I was reading since I came back, I haven't written a post till now, no gym, etc....

But isn't this what I wanted? To get away from the boring routine, and immerse myself in the company of family and friends?

I get annoyed. There are frictions. We've developed our own routines and ways of doing things.

I feel sad. I had dinner with my grandma the night I arrived. She's incontinent (not able to control her urination well). The following day when she saw me, she asked me when did I arrive. Clear sign of dementia.

I know it's all natural. There's no way to reverse ageing. She will leave one day, just like my grandpa. I tried visiting her when I have the car, but there wasn't much that we could talk about.

Next time when I come back again, she may not remember who I am anymore. Last CNY, I helped her to her room. She opened…

Are you the ONE?

One thing being a gay and single is that, I tend to screen for prospective Bf, every single day, every single time a man, in the right age range walks past me. (Though the age range criteria has been relaxed most of the time)

It wasn't this 'serious' in the past, my brain wasn't working like this...

Now, it's getting a bit excessive sometimes. Stealing glances at random guys on the bus, in the park, around the neighbourhood, in the gym...And these glances are getting more and more 'advanced'. I know perfectly, where to scan, the legs, the butts, the triceps, the forearm, etc. I know the timing. I know where to sit on the bus so that I can have an easy access to the view. And most importantly, I acted as if I didn't care, with the cool face, acted as if I'm the least possible person to steal glances at random guys.

Am I perverted? weird? desperate?

Maybe it's the desperateness. With guys that I haven't met, I find myself having all these irra…

5 more days to home

5 more days to home!! 
Had lunch with some ex-uni mates today in the City. Had Teriyaki Fish with rice (with two slices of Salmon sashimi, piece of radish, bowl of miso soup, and salad) for $13.80. The teriyaki fish was quite nice, tasted fresh. 
Walked around the city afterwards. There's less people in Sydney compared to last week which is a good thing. 
Before I went home, I went to pee and two guys, one on each end of the row of urinals, were playing with their dicks! I knew things like this were happening but rarely so obvious. I stood next to one of them, quickly finished my business and left. 
With 5 more days to home, the feeling is mixed. 
I miss seeing my family, miss spending time with them. I haven't been in my new house for more than 3 months (cumulatively). And my bedroom is still very new. 
But at the same time, I am worried that I will be worried. 
I have gotten my latest test result (done at 9.5 weeks post that sexual encounter). Theoretically, I know i should be fine…

Insurance. Wisdom. Massage

Where should I begin?

Let's start with Private Health Insurance. 

So this morning, i finally signed up for a health fund after making an appointment with an Oral Surgeon.

In Australia, even with Medicare (for PRs and Citizens), dental costs are not covered. A simple procedure like a routine check-up can cost you AUD 50, and more complex surgical extractions such as wisdom teeth removal can cost AUD 500 per wisdom tooth.

After consulted the dentist recommended by KK, actually a friend of his, he told me that eventually all 4 of my wisdom teeth will need to be removed surgically because they are impacted (blocked) and will cause the neighbouring teeth to be compromised in the long term, more complications.

And, from what I gathered, extractions of Lower wisdom teeth are more difficult than the Upper ones. And a regular dentist, in Australia, would normally refer you to an Oral Surgeon (a specialist= more expensive) for lower wisdom teeth extractions.

I have paid AUD 150 to the regula…


6.50pm now. It's till very sunny outside, the sky is clear and blue. As it's summer now, it only turns dark at around 8.30pm.

I just had a nap. It's been such a long time since the last afternoon nap. Don't know why. Not that I don't have the time now, perhaps the routine, the habit somehow got messed up.

It was quite a deep nap. Kept getting dragged back into the dreams when i tried to wake up.

Last week, at work, Carol asked me if I was ok now. Without too much of hesitation, I managed to say 'yes'. I didn't want to talk about it i guess.

Today, on the phone with a uni staff talking about recommencing my studies in the coming semester, she asked 'are you sure you're ok now? let us know if you have any issues as early as possible...'.

Again, I said I was ok and ready to start everything again.

Actually, I don't know if I'm truly ok. I haven't been doing my project for half a year now. I probably lost the ability to concentrate …

The litigators

Finished this! I finished a book, 454 pages!!! 
It's been so long since I last read a book from start to the end. 
For Gaysia, and the family law (both by Benjamin law) I covered 90 percent of it. Since they are not fictional and each chapter doesn't relate to other chapters, I could easily leave out chapters that i did didn't find very interesting. 
It's the first Grisham's book that I read. It's 'ok', not as 'thrilling' as it advertised itself to be ('from the bestseller of legal thriller'). 
I like legal dramas/ stories and real stories from people who are similar to me (gays) and whom I can relate to. 
Any recommendations on what I can read next? 

Home Testing

Picked up this leaflet last week at the sexual health clinic.

They are now recruiting study participants to trial HIV testing at home. There's even a website, so if you are interested in knowing more you can have a look there. 
The test that's used in this study is the Oraquick test. It involves taking swabs from your mouth (not your saliva but tissue/lining inside your mouth. And it is an antibody-only test, unlike Alere Determine (involves pricking your finger for a few drops of blood) that tests for both antigen and antibody and it's also a rapid test. Having said that, it's still better than nothing right? 
The nurse told me that they are having difficulty getting people to sign up for this study. I would like to sign up because I think there's no harm in doing so  and I know it's only a procedural thing for them to have this study to get it approved here in Australia as Oraquick has been approved by FDA in the US. 
I am feeling happy for Australia because …

1st Day of 2013

1st Jan 2014 is gonna end soon. (Notice the typo in the caption? Now I noticed it, but just let it be, it takes time i guess to train my mind to write 2014 not 13.) 
StrictlyGay and Ultra Jinoman had each made their summaries of 2013. 
For me, as you may already know, it would be quite painful for me to recall the major events. The best thing that happened to me was probably my family's visit to Sydney. 
I can still remember how naive and innocent I was back then, in 2010 when I first arrived in Sydney. still very much a Kampong boy. Winter 2010 (June), perhaps still very innocent as a mummy boy or whatever you call it, I went home to spend the semester break. I was excited, I had so much to tell, I blabbered on and on, all the way from KLIA for 3 hours. I told them about the uni, how much better the lecturers here were, how life was different in Sydney, etc. 
Fast forward to now, 2014. It's been almost 4 years. I, am a very different person I guess. Wiser? Maybe. There are s…