The Untold Stories

Yes, 1 more month to thesis submission. I was so stressed the other night. I realised I could masturbate twice with a few hours apart. I watched porn when I was stressed. And then I felt more stressed, plus a bit of guilt, that the time spent on porn and masturbations could have been used on writing my thesis. The hardest part about writing a thesis, is not really about writing, but the planning, the structuring before actual writing could take place. I breathed a sigh of relief yesterday after seeing my supervisor, as she seemed to like my way of structuring the literature review. I was quite stressed before seeing her. Lots of what-if questions over my mind. What if she said it's not 'quite' right (notice the use of quite, because even a small hiccup now can drive me crazy, as I am running out of time!). So, she 'approved' it, and asked me to write them down. I am quite afraid of writing to be honest. Academic writing, and especially when it's forming ...

Since young, I've always liked to drink. (Not drinking alcohol!)  I like to eat as well (my grandma gave me the title 'the rat in the house' because I would check the cupboards in the kitchen for 'new arrivals', cookies that she had just bought home for me).  Back to drinking, I guess a good way of putting it is that my parents are thrifty. I don't think we were very poor la, but now come to think of it it's a bit sad haha.  For example, as kids we didn't know there were choices. So breakfast, we had bread because dad would always buy a loaf of Gardenia bread and we would eat it with jams. I liked peanut butter a lot for my bread but my dad would say they were expensive compared to just having fruit jams. But anyway, once in a while, I still succeeded in convincing him to get me peanut butter for breakfast.  So back to being thrifty. So, I have always envied people in the supermarkets who could get whatever they wanted into the shopping ...

The past few weeks have passed quite briefly actually. I'm glad that they didn't appear to be too long.  Today is the 36th day since I finished PEP. I went to the sexual health clinic that's attached to the hospital that I went to that night, after that incident happened.  I was surprised when the nurse said, 'Oh you did the right thing, I saw that you had PEP before'. I didn't expect the hospital to inform the sexual health clinic about the PEP thing, though they are affiliated. Anyway, luckily that she didn't pay attention to the date I got PEP, and I managed to get the free screening done.  I've been having tests every week. Every day before the test day, I would be very anxious. It's normal I know. But the problem is the accumulated stress has put a lot of burden on my health. I started to have this gastric pain a few days ago, which prevented me from having good sleep. It got better yesterday morning, but I went out with friends in th...