The Untold Stories

Texted Jay yesterday afternoon and asked if he was still available for dinner. He asked me about it the night before but I said it would have to depend on my progress... Didn't make much progress yesterday as sleep wasn't that good, slept too late I guess after my Happy Friday.  Anyway, we went to this really nice place for dinner. Rump steak, Pork Belly. He always knows where to go and what to order. The food he ordered was always better than mine, and he picked the right places too..unlike me :(  After dinner, we came back to my suburb and I brought him to this gelato place and we had a walk around the park. It wasn't too cold at night, as Sydney is unusually warm these few weeks at this time of the year.  We went back into his car to chat a bit and then we adjourned to my room LOL.  For the first time, we were naked in front of each other. For the first time, there were tongues involved. For the first time, we cum-ed.  It was already 1....

I didn't know it was going to be a great day when i woke up this morning. In fact, sleep was so bad last night. My balls were so dry and was so itchy and prevented me from falling asleep. [too much information maybe?] And I had nightmare. My 'boss' at work who is like a super patient guy normally yelled at me in the dream. Went to see my supervisor. Halfway through the meeting, another prof. appeared and told me that I could be excused from the class next week! it's a class which is super not helpful to me at this stage. Gah, finally, though it's only 3-4 hours and it's only for next week, I m still happy. And hmm...in terms of my work, my supervisor was happy with some parts and not so much with the other parts, so I have a lot more to do tomorrow. it's only like 2.5 weeks left. And I still have many chapters which i haven't even started writing!!! But sometimes I really glad that I have this supervisor. And what she said today really made my ...

Was on the phone with Jay last night and I was telling him how guilty I felt for feeling horny, and how I shouldn't have watched porn a few days ago because that made me think about sex, guys all the time! So he asked me to delete my porn! and after lengthy negotiation, he said it's ok for me to leave one and delete the rest. But I still couldn't see the point. As long as I have porn, and as long as I watch it, I feel horny, I masturbate, I feel guilty as I wasted time, and as I wasted energy that could be well spent on my thesis... So I didn't delete the Masaki porns which I recently got addicted to. Don't you think Masaki is 'just right'? Not unrealistically hunky, but amazingly good at sex, especially the explosive jets at the end. And I told him it's actually JackD that's distracting me. Coz when I feel bored, restless, distracted, I would look at JackD, checking out Masaki-like guys in Japan! So, he asked me to delete JackD. But I told h...

Yes, 1 more month to thesis submission. I was so stressed the other night. I realised I could masturbate twice with a few hours apart. I watched porn when I was stressed. And then I felt more stressed, plus a bit of guilt, that the time spent on porn and masturbations could have been used on writing my thesis. The hardest part about writing a thesis, is not really about writing, but the planning, the structuring before actual writing could take place. I breathed a sigh of relief yesterday after seeing my supervisor, as she seemed to like my way of structuring the literature review. I was quite stressed before seeing her. Lots of what-if questions over my mind. What if she said it's not 'quite' right (notice the use of quite, because even a small hiccup now can drive me crazy, as I am running out of time!). So, she 'approved' it, and asked me to write them down. I am quite afraid of writing to be honest. Academic writing, and especially when it's forming ...

Yes, it's been a year, 365 days since I was first put on PEP. I don't think including a hyperlink here is necessary. Most of you would know what happened, as it constituted the majority of posts here. My day was mostly spent on reading journal articles, two of them actually. Very dense articles. I think I will have to spend a lot of time reading them again tomorrow, before I can put those ideas in my own words and fit them into my thesis. Also, was on the phone with Jay just now. He was teaching me how to make spaghetti bolognese. This is unknown to Jay. This space, this event. I texted him this morning that I wanted to tell him more, as he did voice it to me last night that it seemed like he still didn't know enough of me. I asked him to remind me next time he sees me. It's strange that I am okay to share this with people whom I have never even met. But with Jay, after having talked about so much stuff, I still haven't quite told him about my dark past. ...

Just a quick update. Went to the city a few hours ago to shop for winter clothing. Winter is looming. These days the mornings can be as cold as 10-13 degrees already. I am a noob when it comes to fashion. Like seriously. Also, I don't really care. This is especially so when I am not dating anyone. I will go out with the same cotton jacket every time. But i make sure it's clean. Being a bit OCD when it comes to hygiene, I wash everything after wearing them once only. The jacket (or hoodie to be precise) that I am wearing was purchased two years ago. I did buy new ones from time to time (a knitted jacket from GAP, a wool jacket from ZARA, a leather one from mum) but I don't really like them because I can't wash them as easily and as frequently as the cotton ones. Hence, the potential pool of jackets that I would buy is severely limited. Anyway, I bought a PUFFER VEST today, (just found out what it's called after I got home from the magazine). I notice...