A Little Summary

Have been writing less these days. It also means that I am spending less time summarising, thinking, reflecting, and communicating.

Studies: DONE for this level, but not finished yet. Got my results about a week ago (14 July?). Not tip-top, but OK la. I think as I grow older, I am more able to accept an outcome, even if it's not what I have wanted or hoped for.

I was in the lounge room at my old place, and was chatting with a housemate while I was on my way out to have breakfast. We were talking about the release of results on the new student portal. He said he got his, and so I tried it once again, and I saw my results. I couldn't speak literally. Not sure if he could sense anything. And without saying anything, I left the house and walked to my favourite cafe in the icy cold winter morning.

My mind was full of self-consoling words. Indeed, what more can I ask for. From 0 to xx. I was literally at 0 a year ago. And maybe 10, 3 months before the thesis was due. In the last 3 to 4 months or so, I was extremely blessed.

Jay came into my life. He supported me really well, except, unfortunately, financially. Almost every night, I whined to him about how stressed I was. There were deliveries of food. There were lots of encouraging words. I felt loved.

My supervisor was extremely patient and kind. She did admit to be very worried at one point fearing that I could not complete it, when I asked her for feedback on my performance post-submission. I worked till 6am in the morning to put everything nicely together, sent her the last draft, and took a 2-hour nap. At 8am, she already replied to my email, and provided me with very detailed and easy-to-follow suggestions/edits.

Didn't I say that all I wanted was Completion? And actually I have done pretty OK, sufficiently well for me to proceed to the next level.

And the part I love the most of my thesis, the page on which I dedicated my thesis to my late grandpa. I got quite emotional in the shower, a few days before submission, as I was reminded about what he said to me. He told me to take his savings to study in Singapore because to him, Singaporean universities were the best in the region, and probably much more affordable. I could only imagine how happy he would be, if he was able to come to my graduation. Just thinking of this makes me teary.


My Love: Not that I have forgotten about what we did together. As much as I want to record everything we did together here, I am feeling quite lazy hehe. There are just so many of them. But I do have photos to help remind me when my memory starts to fail one day.

Something I noticed about myself. I prefer Red recently. I bought red clothes. Is it because I am in love??

There are of course some hiccups. We can both be quite annoying sometimes. But every time when he put his hand on my lap or held my hand, I melted. He's really warm in the morning, really comfortable to snuggle into in winter. And he would always turn around again to hug me after he is pushed away when I get 'overheated'. And he's Sweet :)

The day before my departure, the first night at my new place, he actually brought cakes and wine and hid them in the fridge to surprise me. Said he wanted to celebrate our new love nest <3

But it finally got to him that morning when I left for Malaysia. Because of my extraordinarily stringent hygiene standards, and my because-I-am-stressed-I-can-be-nasty attitude, he was angry at me that morning :( No fancy pre-departure brunch. Went to the nearby McD, and he said he didn't want to eat! never saw him so pissed at me before. I got both of us fish burgers and a large coffee to share. And fortunately with my sincere apologies, it was okay afterwards when we were at the airport.

Family: Mum wasn't feeling too well. The next morning after my arrival, mum, sis and I were at the hospital for mum's scheduled MRI's scan. Spinal discs degeneration. It's a bit too early for her age. But we are glad that there's a diagnosis and she can take steps to slow down the degeneration.

Grandma is getting even older now, compared to how she was just six months ago. Incontinence. Couldn't really walk. She fell down and injured one of her forearms. The knee is swollen too.

I wish I am mega rich. So I can have a whole team of medical specialists to take care of my family when I am overseas. Feeling kinda helpless, as there's nothing much I can do.

Growing up: Not easy. Responsibilities, independence, money, job, driving licence, the remaining wisdom teeth to be extracted. A new place to live.

Jay isn't quite supportive of my plan to pursue an academic career. But I think that's where I want to go, at least for now. Hence, I am actually feeling a little bit stressed about making enough money. Hopefully to make as much as he makes so that he has one less point to ask me quit.

And because being an academic is not as common as working in the corporate world, I have to keep explaining to people (Jay and family members) about what being an academic entails. Can be tiring, having to justify your own choice, but I think it's only because they care about me.