I was going to title this "I broke up" but then I decided that it was going to be too sad.
So we finally, officially broke up on Saturday. One day before mid autumn festival.
I just took the shirts that he wore to wash. Normally he would wear the clothes again when he came over. That might be the last scent I had of him.
I went to the chiro today to fix my slanted butt, my pelvic bones were misaligned. Got a new pillow from the chiro too.
I reinstalled the apps. I even put my pic on it.
I told my friends (the few gay friends I have here) that I broke up.
I am enjoying the attention I get from the app.
I'm eating mooncakes alone.
I found a personal trainer who swims and went to the gym to have a chat with him. I'm going back to the gym I think.
I haven't started crying yet. I dreamed about him so much. I think I'm doing everything I can to pretend nothing really happened.
Every time we argued I threatened to break up with him. Recently I said "u do realise I have the option to leave u" and that "I don't have the obligation to teach u to be better because I can simply pick someone who is better". On hindsight I was super mean. But u don't know how heated I was when he gave me the "I don't care" look.
I don't know what he's thinking. I can't go back. I have gone back to him too many times. If I do this again he would never value me anymore. Maybe he knew this time is different and he probably didn't wan to persuade me to stay.
People kept asking me why what happened. I don't know how to explain. I asked for a misfit speedo shine watch and a box of mooncakes. Now u probably think I am those who would ask bf for stuff. I'm not. I am super shy especially when it's about stuff or a favour from someone. There are reasons. I explained, to him that day, but I don't think he got it.
Thanks to those who wrote me either in the comments or via email.