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Little Things to be Grateful For

1) I went shopping yesterday. Bought a pair of Jeans and a t-shirt from Gap. 20% off for purchases of two items or more.

I think i have lost patience or rather the passion for shopping for clothes. When I was younger, in primary school, I would lay my t-shirt and my pants on the bed to see if they were matching. I remember one day when my family decided to go to Malacca to shop, I found out that my favourite pair of pants was still in the laundry basket. I was really upset, and I cried. And I started to whine about how pathetic my life was as I did not even have enough pairs of decent pants to wear out too. (I think I behaved like a drama queen back then) Anyway, my parents successfully convinced me to go. And as soon as we got there, the priority was to get me pants.

As I grew older, I cared less about the clothes that I put on. I would normally go for the clothes that have just been washed and stuffed back into the wardrobe because they are the most reachable and visible. As a result, I always forget about the existence of clothes that I actually own. And I keep wearing the same things.

I spent an hour yesterday just to get 2 items. I find it a hassle to have to go to the fitting room, remove my own clothes, remove my shoes as well, put on the new ones, take them off, put my own clothes back, my shoes, etc. Perhaps I would enjoy the fitting room experience more if I have a body like the porn stars so I can make use of the lighting in the fitting rooms to take some shots of my sexy body.


2) I had a very sound sleep last night.

I consumed a huge and fleshy R2E2 mango by myself at 11pm. Maybe it was the mango. I only woke up once to pee at 7.30am. Went back to sleep, woke up every hour and fell back to sleep until 11.30am.

I had a nightmare though. I dreamed that I was with Jay and my parents. And my mum was interrogating me about my sexuality. And I came out.

I cannot remember the dream clearly but I remember I was angry at one point and all I wanted to say to them was that I did not make a choice, yet for so long, I had to endure the loneliness, pain, doubts because I was born gay. I wanted them to take some responsibility instead. I was brought into this world by them, and through no fault of my own, a very different life awaited me.
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