The Untold Stories

So, I think I got butt problem.  A few days ago, when I was showering, I noticed a small, raised bump. It's there. I have been applying tea tree oil to it for a few days, twice a day.  There's peeling, because of the tea tree oil. I think it's slightly flatter but it's there. Not itchy, not painful.  And today, when I was checking the butt with the mirror and the light, I noticed quite many tiny red dots on my butt. They are so small, like dots. I don't know if they are related to the first bump.  If the first bump is really a HPV genital wart, could it have spread to the surrounding area? Is tea tree oil making it worse?  These tiny red dots could be raised or flat, I don't know.  What should I do what should I do??!!  According to what I have gathered, HPV is so common that 90 percent of people would have been infected just that they don't get symptoms like bumps??  And the treatment is topical. You apply some ge...

It's titled the house party simply because it's like the only 'highlight' for the day. It's funny how a person's mood can change from good to bad and back to ok just in one day. Got a muffin and coffee ($7) and 'sunbathed' for 30 mins on the balcony. (Good mood) Realising that my throat is still dry and feels a little bit inflamed, and checking my throat using a mirror and the smartphone torch light made me feel worried and depressed. Until now, after having vitamin C and drinking lots of water and a nap, I can still feel like I may get a sore throat anytime, and it can be a symptom and I am dead. And then, I was thinking of excuses to not going to the party tonight because I was feeling so emo. So it's a house party. It's just at my house, the place that I am living. Housemates have been confirming my attendance with me. And I have been saying yes. If I don't go, people would start saying I am being aloof and all that. It's t...

This is going to be another rather depressing post. Don't continue to read it if you are already stressed/depressed. . Also, as I want to use this blog to record about things that I have been through/ experienced, I am honest about my thoughts/feelings/opinions/etc. I am not trying to make things look polished here so you may find this space to be unattractive or even disgusting (coz I am going to talk about my butt today). Yesterday started well. It was very warm and sunny when I woke up. I bought some breakfast and went to the balcony to get some sun. As I had nothing planned for the day, I decided to go to the gym. Came home, wasted a bit of time and went to church in the evening. Not long into the service, my left eye started to feel itchy. I am usually very careful with hygiene and I don't know why it happened. The first thing I did when I came home was to check my eye. It wasn't very red, probably a little. I was so worried that it's a symptom of hiv infec...

Since young, I've always liked to drink. (Not drinking alcohol!)  I like to eat as well (my grandma gave me the title 'the rat in the house' because I would check the cupboards in the kitchen for 'new arrivals', cookies that she had just bought home for me).  Back to drinking, I guess a good way of putting it is that my parents are thrifty. I don't think we were very poor la, but now come to think of it it's a bit sad haha.  For example, as kids we didn't know there were choices. So breakfast, we had bread because dad would always buy a loaf of Gardenia bread and we would eat it with jams. I liked peanut butter a lot for my bread but my dad would say they were expensive compared to just having fruit jams. But anyway, once in a while, I still succeeded in convincing him to get me peanut butter for breakfast.  So back to being thrifty. So, I have always envied people in the supermarkets who could get whatever they wanted into the shopping ...

It's almost 12 now and I'm actually quite exhausted. Though my words may not be very organized but I guess it's good to pen it down before I go to bed. Have been kinda busy yesterday and today. Had to continue with marking the papers and today was running back and forth from uni to retrieve some documents. Brought him to see the JP to get some documents certified. Continued with marking. Came home shower and closed my eyes for 20 mins and headed out to his place again. Before working on the visa, we had dinner. It was his treat. Probably I was tired or was I in a worry/emo mode, he kept saying that I didn't look like I was enjoying the food. I told I was just tired. But actually my mind was away. There were lots of things on my mind. For a moment, i was thinking about this relationship thing. Have you ever tried asking your ex about 'his current bf'? The feeling was weird. And for the next moment, I couldn't help but to worry about my health, or the pr...

It's still rainy and windy here in Sydney. Didn't do much today. Braced the rain this morning to get myself a Bacon and Zucchini muffin and a cup of Flat White. I told myself I needed them, I had to brighten up my day a bit. For lunch, I cooked myself a combination of 8 beans, it's called the 'eight treasure porridge' in Mandarin. I didn't really have the mood to play Dota today, despite the addition of 'heroes' that was released two days ago. I was just browsing through some profiles on Fridae. No chats, nothing at all. Went to the church in the evening. Was happy that we sang 'In Christ Alone' today again. The sermon was on the 'unforgivable sin', which I was able to follow through without much yawning. Quickly left the church after the service, and heated up the chicken curry I bought and had it with some plain rice. Streamed some TVB dramas tonight. Yes, there was no human interaction for me today. In fact, other than people...

It's been quite a busy week. Two part-times, and I am grateful that I got the chance to mark some exam papers- good money to help me stay alive in Sydney. About two days ago, I decided to write him an email. He's in his final semester and I know given his circumstances he wouldn't be able to apply for PR for now. I didn't know if he was going to stay, how was he going to apply for visa, etc. And it might mean that I would never get to see him again, if he was to leave this place permanently. I tried to be as sincere as I could. After all, it's been almost half a year since we last met. I think he must have moved on and probably still hate me. I didn't expect a reply at all. But surprisingly, there was a beep from my phone and I saw a notification from Gmail. I couldn't believe what I read. He said he was sorry about the last time (for being unreasonable on Skype) and that he would message me the next morning because it was late and he was too tired to ...