It's been quite a busy week. Two part-times, and I am grateful that I got the chance to mark some exam papers- good money to help me stay alive in Sydney.
About two days ago, I decided to write him an email. He's in his final semester and I know given his circumstances he wouldn't be able to apply for PR for now. I didn't know if he was going to stay, how was he going to apply for visa, etc. And it might mean that I would never get to see him again, if he was to leave this place permanently.
I tried to be as sincere as I could. After all, it's been almost half a year since we last met. I think he must have moved on and probably still hate me. I didn't expect a reply at all.
But surprisingly, there was a beep from my phone and I saw a notification from Gmail. I couldn't believe what I read. He said he was sorry about the last time (for being unreasonable on Skype) and that he would message me the next morning because it was late and he was too tired to talk.
Actually in the email i sent to him, I said he needed help with renewing his visa, I would help because I actually promised him long time ago that I would help. And from someone, I knew he was very stressed and worried about applying/renewing his visa so that he could remain in Australia.
We skyped the night after. Talking about visa options for him mainly. Yesterday night, we met up for dinner and then to his place to explain to him about documents he needs.
He has got a bf now. Someone younger than him. He commented that the common thing he likes about me and his current bf is that we are hardworking and responsible.
I thought it would be a big drama-like scene for me to finally see him again. It's been almost half a year. He just walked out of my life. Night after night I was hugging my bolster to sleep, to fill his absence. I told my friends how much I missed him how much I would do just to steal a glance of him.
But weird enough, I didn't feel jealous hearing him telling me about his bf. I didn't try to hug him or hold his hands.
I was just there. Not sure if he would see me even as a friend. I am not suggesting that he is using me. Whatever it is, I am just glad that I was able to see him again.
And should there be expectations to see him again and continuously in the future? Maybe not. I need to learn and be strong I told myself.
This post could be better but I am feeling messy. I don't know how to organize it better. I am happy to be able to help him, to ease some burden for him. I don't know if his current bf is good for him, but what can I do. I will just be beside you if you ever need me, I told myself.
The rain has come back and it's wet for most of today, and probably for the next few days.
Sleep hasn't been great especially last night. I was very tired but I just couldn't go to sleep with so much thoughts in my head.
It's been a week after the sex. I just discovered that how easy it is for me to injure/ bite my cheek and damage the lining inside my mouth. Seriously, if I was unlucky enough, I might get infected because of this.
But what can I do? It's happened. Yes, what can I do?
I hope I can talk to Ben soon. Seems like he's been through my stage.
About two days ago, I decided to write him an email. He's in his final semester and I know given his circumstances he wouldn't be able to apply for PR for now. I didn't know if he was going to stay, how was he going to apply for visa, etc. And it might mean that I would never get to see him again, if he was to leave this place permanently.
I tried to be as sincere as I could. After all, it's been almost half a year since we last met. I think he must have moved on and probably still hate me. I didn't expect a reply at all.
But surprisingly, there was a beep from my phone and I saw a notification from Gmail. I couldn't believe what I read. He said he was sorry about the last time (for being unreasonable on Skype) and that he would message me the next morning because it was late and he was too tired to talk.
Actually in the email i sent to him, I said he needed help with renewing his visa, I would help because I actually promised him long time ago that I would help. And from someone, I knew he was very stressed and worried about applying/renewing his visa so that he could remain in Australia.
We skyped the night after. Talking about visa options for him mainly. Yesterday night, we met up for dinner and then to his place to explain to him about documents he needs.
He has got a bf now. Someone younger than him. He commented that the common thing he likes about me and his current bf is that we are hardworking and responsible.
I thought it would be a big drama-like scene for me to finally see him again. It's been almost half a year. He just walked out of my life. Night after night I was hugging my bolster to sleep, to fill his absence. I told my friends how much I missed him how much I would do just to steal a glance of him.
But weird enough, I didn't feel jealous hearing him telling me about his bf. I didn't try to hug him or hold his hands.
I was just there. Not sure if he would see me even as a friend. I am not suggesting that he is using me. Whatever it is, I am just glad that I was able to see him again.
And should there be expectations to see him again and continuously in the future? Maybe not. I need to learn and be strong I told myself.
This post could be better but I am feeling messy. I don't know how to organize it better. I am happy to be able to help him, to ease some burden for him. I don't know if his current bf is good for him, but what can I do. I will just be beside you if you ever need me, I told myself.
The rain has come back and it's wet for most of today, and probably for the next few days.
Sleep hasn't been great especially last night. I was very tired but I just couldn't go to sleep with so much thoughts in my head.
It's been a week after the sex. I just discovered that how easy it is for me to injure/ bite my cheek and damage the lining inside my mouth. Seriously, if I was unlucky enough, I might get infected because of this.
But what can I do? It's happened. Yes, what can I do?
I hope I can talk to Ben soon. Seems like he's been through my stage.
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