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3 pills 4 drugs, not that simple.

Prior to that incident, I had been told about the existence of PEP by sexual nurses on regular health screenings. All I knew was that it would be a combination of anti-HIV drugs. I didn't want to know 'too much' about the drugs because it was simply too scary to even think about the need for these drugs.

That night, after I got home, I quickly googled for more information about PEP, about the drugs, more about its effectiveness though. There were studies conducted on test tubes, animals and humans. There were studies on occupational exposure (needle sticks encountered by health care workers) and non-occupational exposure (sexual contacts, etc.). PEP is no guarantee. There were some people who seroconverted despite being treated with PEP. However, it was noted that they might have started PEP a bit too late (later than 40 hours post exposure). It was also noted that those who did not seroconvert might not have been infected in the first place. So, there's no easy answer about its effectiveness.

I was given Truvada (which is the most common drug used and consists of Tenofovir and Emtricitabine) and Raltegravir (a relatively new drug, an Integrase inhibitor which was used to target the 'integration' phase as opposed to a protease inhibitor). I am not a Science student and I didn't know much about these terms but I just had to keep googling in the hope that I could get some sort of assurance that the drugs I was given would be effective.

The doctor told me that the side effects of these drugs would be minimal compared to the older versions of drugs prescribed. Personally, I had a bloated stomach on the second and third day and probably a slight diarrhea.

However, I was probably really unlucky recently. On the third day, I started to develop a swollen and painful gum near my wisdom tooth. In the past, I might have felt some discomfort but nothing more serious than that. I had to see a dentist on the fourth day, the same day as my appointment with the nurse consultant. I was given antibiotics as very likely it was an infection caused by trapped food particles. It's hard to make sure that the 'pocket' created by the gum and the partially emerged wisdom tooth is thoroughly cleaned as I don't use a mouth wash regularly.

I am still on the antibiotics and thankfully the swelling has subsided. I just feel that all of a sudden my body is being burdened with all these medications. I am feeling tired (probably because I have no mood) and the tip of my tongue has this numb feeling.

I keep praying everyday. I hope God would forgive my sins and heal me.

A friend asked me: 'Can you be sure that you won't go to the sauna ever again? There will be this one day when you are overcome by your id and you will visit again'. I simply dun know. I promised God I dun wan sex with random people. I dun wan to be a slut. But how do I define random people? How does God think about people, both straight and gay, who have sex with people that are not their partners? What does it mean to be a good Christian gay?

Comments

  1. a good christian is a person who has good values and exercise them.

    having sex doesnt make you less good.

    not going church doesnt make you a bad christian.

    God doesnt judge you, you are responsible for your own action, always think before you act, if you think what you are doing is ok, then go ahead and dont regret it later..

    you have a mind of your own, everyone will act differently in different scenarios so no one person can tell you whats wrong and whats right.

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