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Just some updates

So i still have another 7 days of medication to finish. A few days ago probably, i started to feel some enlarged lymph nodes around my neck, under my chin. I've had them before and I knew they could be due to many reasons but I just couldn't stop myself from thinking about the worst that could happen.

I was feeling very down last night. Luckily, David was willing to come over and talk to me. I also told David that I was feeling sad because my ex stopped talking to me:( A few days ago, after I finished class at uni, he texted me and said that he was lonely. He knew I wouldn't want to have sex so he said it's ok to just cuddle. I went over, cuddled. I could feel that he wanted more but I politely said we should stop coz i am still at risk. I tried to chat with him but he didn't seem to be interested in telling me more. He also didn't ask me how I was doing. The whole thing felt like a pure 'sexual' meet up.

I texted him the day after. I was feeling lonely and down but he didn't reply until late at night. So I told him about how I felt about being ignored and etc. I wasn't scolding him, I said it in a nice way. But he just blocked me from whatsapp.

I still miss him. As I told David, I dunno if it's because I am feeling anxious and lonely now that make me miss him or is it because I realized how important he is to me. I wrote him a letter (email) today, as David suggested me to, so that I can let him know my feelings toward him. I dun think he's going to reply. But anyway I will just wait.

Keep me in your prayers if you can. Thanks.

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