Just before I went to bed last night, I had a look at the calendar on my phone.
In about six weeks, I will have to submit my thesis. I panicked, and maybe it was a panic attack. My heart started pumping really fast, I couldn't sleep, I was in so much fear and anxiety.
It's not that I had never realised how much time I had got. But last night, the realisation really struck me.
It's not about the quality, it's really about completion now. As long as I complete it, I still have a thesis.
But without good sleep, a day is not really day. I can't think and structure my thoughts properly, let alone writing well.
I started to consider if I should stop my part-time job. I started to think if I should tell Jay that I should stop seeing him for a while.
Not that I think he's distracting me so much, but more about I will become 'a burden' (check out Tuls' post today) to him.
I don't want to share too much of my worries and stress with him. But if we are dating, I think I should let the person know my state of mind. And it would require me to also tell him more about my negative feelings. I don't want to channel these negative energy to him.
Jay would definitely want to offer some advice. But there's only so much he can do. He can't really control my sleep, my work, etc. He would feel frustrated and annoyed at one point if I keep complaining about the same stuff to him every time we meet (at least until I am done with my thesis).
But I told him just now, about my lack of sleep, about my thesis. It may be ok for him now.
I even had this thought that how nice it would be if I never wake up again in the morning so I don't have to face the workload.
Oh stress...go away!
In about six weeks, I will have to submit my thesis. I panicked, and maybe it was a panic attack. My heart started pumping really fast, I couldn't sleep, I was in so much fear and anxiety.
It's not that I had never realised how much time I had got. But last night, the realisation really struck me.
It's not about the quality, it's really about completion now. As long as I complete it, I still have a thesis.
But without good sleep, a day is not really day. I can't think and structure my thoughts properly, let alone writing well.
I started to consider if I should stop my part-time job. I started to think if I should tell Jay that I should stop seeing him for a while.
Not that I think he's distracting me so much, but more about I will become 'a burden' (check out Tuls' post today) to him.
I don't want to share too much of my worries and stress with him. But if we are dating, I think I should let the person know my state of mind. And it would require me to also tell him more about my negative feelings. I don't want to channel these negative energy to him.
Jay would definitely want to offer some advice. But there's only so much he can do. He can't really control my sleep, my work, etc. He would feel frustrated and annoyed at one point if I keep complaining about the same stuff to him every time we meet (at least until I am done with my thesis).
But I told him just now, about my lack of sleep, about my thesis. It may be ok for him now.
I even had this thought that how nice it would be if I never wake up again in the morning so I don't have to face the workload.
Oh stress...go away!
i saw my name so I like this post so boooomz! anyway, if you think you need more time to do your thesis shit then PLEASE for the love of GOD stop your part time job and focus, money can earn anytime ok, but education if you fail this shit sometimes you dont even get a second chance... well i know the medics dont... so yea, please arr... dont flunk your shiz... muacks love you...
ReplyDeleteei , i realize i cannot tick any O Notify Me box in this comment thing arr, maybe you wanna go do something about it, at least like i will get notification if someone replied here or something! ;)
ReplyDeleteok thanks I will check !
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