Had this random thought the other day: Could Jay be a new chapter of my life?
I think I can let go of my ex already...It's not entirely because of Jay's appearance. It's a combination of different things. I am getting more occupied with Uni work, part-time job. I am not as paranoid. I think I am recovering.
Having known my ex was definitely a chapter of my life. So many things have happened, either directly or indirectly related to him.
I have gone through the darkest period of my life. I survived. Because of God. Because of the trust and support from my family (though they still don't know what happened to me until today), and because of many of you here, who were willing to lend me your ears (or eyes).
As much as I am nervous about the uncertainties ahead, I am happy that I am moving away from the dark days.
And now, amidst the stress and uncertainties, Jay appeared.
He's not the type that would message me endlessly. If there's a need to talk, he prefers to call me directly.
I try not to be clingy. So yesterday, as he didn't ask me out even after dinner time, I thought, well, I should probably focus on doing my work. Then, after 30 minutes into my work, he texted me. And asked if it's ok for him to come over. I was so excited when I got his text!
I still haven't shown him my room. It's so messy, so dirty, so embarrassing. It's in a state where if I show him I think he wouldn't want to see me anymore.
We went to San Churros. Actually anywhere would do, because we just wanted somewhere to sit and talk. He has always been full whenever he dropped by at night. So good to have his family here. I miss home cooked meals. I know I am fortunate enough to be able to afford to eat out. But I am really tired of eating out, I want company, I want my loved ones here to be with me.
We stayed until almost 12am there. Had to leave as the shop was closing.
We spent another 2 and half hours in the car. Fogging up the windows.
At first he was quite reluctant to kiss, as he thought we were moving too fast. But it got a little out of control, and we ended up kissing (no tongue but it was so good), hugging, and groping.
It's half past two in the morning when I got back into the house. Hence, I am so tired today. No more late night sessions!
We talked just now. And I am glad that he was honest with me. He told me he felt a bit uneasy when he was driving home last night. He felt that we were going too fast. I like him, and I treasure our relationship. So I will have to stop pushing his boundaries next time! (Coz I kept putting my hand on his groin despite him telling me not to)
Able to move on from your ex is already a new chapter for you. As for Jay, it still needs times to know whehter he is part of your new chapter. Just take it slowly. =)
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