Skip to main content

If you fail to plan

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.

AND, be mindful of the moment, where you are at, and what you are doing.

There are the two things that I picked up yesterday, during a 'group activity' at the place I live.

Like I've said before, I was kinda different compared to how I am now. Especially during Form 4 and Form 5, I was very determined to be the best student. I am constantly making plans to study and I felt good after doing the revisions. Sometimes, my mum would walk past my room and stood just outside the door, quietly observing me studying, and probably feeling proud of how hardworking her son was.

Also, be mindful of the present. Think about why am I here (why am I in Australia? Why am i living in this accommodation? How long have I been here? What is the time now? Eh, I am typing out a blog post now...etc)

Think about the goals in the short term (complete my degree), in the medium term (where to settle down, what to do...)

In 2013 at least, I wasn't doing all these. Seriously, I was just...surviving i guess. Certainly, some plans were made. Like where to have lunch/dinner, how to inform my supervisor that I needed a break, how to bring my family around when they were here, etc.

But nothing more than that.

Nothing 'ambitious'. Nothing about personal development or career goals.

And think about this analogy.

If I am not wearing my specs, the imperfections of my face would appear just ok in front of the mirror. It will be blurry, but I don't want to be confronted with the 'problems'. As long as there is no obvious smudge, it's ok.

That was how I lived in 2013.

During this period of transition, where I am graduating soon, I can't continue to live like that.

There are many decisions to be made, including a very urgent one, a decision to do my best to get the best results possible. Then, there will be decisions about job, city to settle in, where to rent a room/apartment....

Really, I have to face it. I must be able to complete some tasks everyday. It has to be a step forward, regardless of how big the step is.

Yes, I got to tell myself. I am here, for a purpose. Why have I travelled so far from home? Do not take things for granted.

Yes, I need to achieve more tomorrow.

Comments

  1. My computer is usually put on mute, but I had just finished watching a clip on YouTube.

    And then... 'Say Something' played as I clicked on your blog read along this post. Sweet surprise. They rhythm of the song coupled with the message in your writing created a sentimental moment that I didn't expect.

    Wouldn't go into introducing myself as I am an outcast amongst gays. But just thank you, and may God bless you.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How long is 20 months?

It's been almost a year since I last wrote. So what prompted me to write again? I still haven't gotten over Jay. He left in June 16? Yes, its now March 18. Shocking right,? How can someone, especially someone like me who can be so determined in my career and studies, who is so rational in all other material aspects, fail to marshal the power to put an end to it. I wanted to write, to remind myself how much time has passed, as his second birthday post our breakup is coming up. Last year, I mailed him a gift and a card. There was no reply. He finally agreed to meet over lunch about half a year ago? I texted him on a monthly basis to say hello. He would give me a simple reply if he felt like it. There was this perpetual urge to see him, to talk to him. I took photos of the baked goods I made. I used the 'save' feature on Facebook to save cute or funny videos. I hoped one day I would have the opportunity to show him all these. How foolish. I noticed I did

The "Emergency Contact"

Got a letter from the insurance company this morning, confirming that my conditions are not 'pre-existing'. Glad that they are willing to pay for my colonoscopy and endoscopy (with an 'excess' of $500, which means I would have to pay for the first $500 in a calendar year for any claims I make).  I called the clinic quickly to make an appointment for the procedures. The earliest they have is this Wednesday, so I will be 'admitted' this Wednesday afternoon.  The lady over the phone said that I must arrange for someone to bring me home after the procedure because I will be sedated (as opposed to anaesthesia) and under NSW laws it is a requirement that I go home accompanied.  I can't think of anyone really. No family, no friends, no one, just me alone. I told her I have no one that I can ask. I wondered what she thought, poor kid maybe. Fortunately, there is a specialised cab service that I can hire to escort me home.  Then, there was the pre-admi

Are you the ONE?

One thing being a gay and single is that, I tend to screen for prospective Bf, every single day, every single time a man, in the right age range walks past me. (Though the age range criteria has been relaxed most of the time) It wasn't this 'serious' in the past, my brain wasn't working like this... Now, it's getting a bit excessive sometimes. Stealing glances at random guys on the bus, in the park, around the neighbourhood, in the gym...And these glances are getting more and more 'advanced'. I know perfectly, where to scan, the legs, the butts, the triceps, the forearm, etc. I know the timing. I know where to sit on the bus so that I can have an easy access to the view. And most importantly, I acted as if I didn't care, with the cool face, acted as if I'm the least possible person to steal glances at random guys. Am I perverted? weird? desperate? Maybe it's the desperateness. With guys that I haven't met, I find myself having all the