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My Life

As I am writing this, I am feeling a little bit sick. The throat feels a bit sore, just a bit. The temperature is probably 0.5 degree Celsius up too.

Since I got the thermometer last night, I've been checking my body temperature constantly, and probably excessively.

It's always ranged from 36.9 to 37.3.

Went back to the clinic today to collect the results. The HIV, urine chlamydia/gonorrhea, and syphilis were all negative.

I know I should be feeling relieved by now. But no. At the clinic, the GP asked me if I've got any symptoms. So I told her about the feverish feeling I had for a couple of days or possibly for a week already.

She took the temperature, with the ear thermometer, and it was 38.1, a low grade fever. She told me not to panic and proceeded to check my throat, the lymph around the throat and the armpits.

She said my throat was slightly red/inflamed. It could be upper respiratory tract infection she said.

When I got home after that, I kept checking my temperature. It's almost the same as yesterday, highest being 37.3.

I was panicking. I messaged KK and told him about it.

It's been 41 days (almost 6 weeks already). I've had many tests. But I'm still freaking worried.

He said I need to stop this. Otherwise, I am annoying all my friends. And I should probably seek help from a psychiatrist. I'm not living my life he said.

I think he's right.

I am annoying everyone. This blog, though it's my blog, my space to express my feelings, has turned into a rather unhealthy, unattractive space.

While everyone else is blogging about their lives, what they did, their thoughts, and all that, I only talked about my health worries all the time.

I am in a depressed state. I still can't get over with my ex. I am not doing anything else, other than feeling sad and worried.

I know that many people around me are sick. It's the weather they said.

I hope it's really the weather, it's really the common cold.

But I couldn't stop worrying. No matter how hard I tried.

I could still go out with friends, laughed and all that. But when I reached home, it's all quiet again. And the fears and worries will start to haunt me again.

When will this ever stop?


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Comments

  1. soul232August 26, 2013 at 8:57 PM

    when u go out and live life, not just passing through it. Make full use of it. What's the point of having a good health if u dont enjoy it? Even people with cancer or HIV live a more enjoyable and stress-free than u

    ReplyDelete
  2. untold stories August 27, 2013 at 12:17 AM

    i know right...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. soul232August 27, 2013 at 12:19 AM

      my dear, make friend. Make new one if the old one doesnt work. Talk to people, get connect to them

      Delete
  3. WilliamAugust 27, 2013 at 12:44 AM

    Its most probably the stress. No amount of comments or advise here will make your mind shut down and relax. Just try your best.

    ReplyDelete

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