Switched off my alarm at 8.30am and continued to sleep till 9.15am. Had only 15 mins to prep myself before rushing off to the hospital to meet the nurse consultant at 10am. I was on time. Thank God for the smooth traffic.
Waited for 20 mins till I was finally seen. I was not as nervous, firstly because I've had many tests before and secondly I could sense that the nurse consultant wasn't acting differently. So my 3-month-post-exposure HIV test result was negative. Thank God. Besides my dear friends who supported me through this period, I would also like to thank you guys who have been reading my blog and leaving some comments from time to time. It's really therapeutic for me to be able to express my feelings and thoughts here.
But it's not over yet. There are still things that I'm worried about.
There's still a risk as I had unprotected oral sex about 20 days ago. So I will try to book myself another test next week.
Many would say that no one uses a condom for oral sex and it's a risk that many if not all take.
But having been through all the fears and worries, I've had enough. I need certainty badly. I need to be 100 percent sure that I'm fine, that I'm not infected with HIV.
It's really scary, whenever I see a rash, or have a sore throat, my palms and armpits will be wet and my heart will be pounding really fast. It's not funny.
Also, I'm still not sure if I was infected, because of the oral sex, by some bacteria other than Chlamydia and Gonorrhea. Sometimes, when I urinate, I think I can sense that it's slightly hot. But I am not sure.
And, I've got this dull pain on my lower left abdomen. It's not appendicitis because that should be on lower right side.
Is it just the gas that's stuck there? I only sense the discomfort when I lie down. But I'm actually feeling it now even when I'm sitting down typing.
So yea, everyday, every min of spare time I have, I will be worried about my health.
I just had my first ever yoga class tonight at the gym. It wasn't as hard as I expected. At least i could still follow the moves. The instructor and the people were friendly. It was a small class with less than 10 people. Will probably join the class again.
Waited for 20 mins till I was finally seen. I was not as nervous, firstly because I've had many tests before and secondly I could sense that the nurse consultant wasn't acting differently. So my 3-month-post-exposure HIV test result was negative. Thank God. Besides my dear friends who supported me through this period, I would also like to thank you guys who have been reading my blog and leaving some comments from time to time. It's really therapeutic for me to be able to express my feelings and thoughts here.
But it's not over yet. There are still things that I'm worried about.
There's still a risk as I had unprotected oral sex about 20 days ago. So I will try to book myself another test next week.
Many would say that no one uses a condom for oral sex and it's a risk that many if not all take.
But having been through all the fears and worries, I've had enough. I need certainty badly. I need to be 100 percent sure that I'm fine, that I'm not infected with HIV.
It's really scary, whenever I see a rash, or have a sore throat, my palms and armpits will be wet and my heart will be pounding really fast. It's not funny.
Also, I'm still not sure if I was infected, because of the oral sex, by some bacteria other than Chlamydia and Gonorrhea. Sometimes, when I urinate, I think I can sense that it's slightly hot. But I am not sure.
And, I've got this dull pain on my lower left abdomen. It's not appendicitis because that should be on lower right side.
Is it just the gas that's stuck there? I only sense the discomfort when I lie down. But I'm actually feeling it now even when I'm sitting down typing.
So yea, everyday, every min of spare time I have, I will be worried about my health.
I just had my first ever yoga class tonight at the gym. It wasn't as hard as I expected. At least i could still follow the moves. The instructor and the people were friendly. It was a small class with less than 10 people. Will probably join the class again.
Do more yoga!! CLear your mind so you don't think much. Everyday will be fine!! =)
ReplyDeletesometimes sitting wrongly, unbucking belt after dinner will cause air trap or pressure to the stomach or the tracts after that..
ReplyDeleteyoure very very paranoid, i was once like you too, and i always tell myself to play safe play safe but in the end will have some slip, but i know it will only add more worries so usually after that will know to be safe at all cost..
its a very normal reaction but, its not good to you in the long run if you keep stressing out on stuffs that are avoidable. hm... you poor boy..