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You

So finally I was able to see you, though indirectly, on your jack'd profile.

Went to the city today, enabled 4G on my mobile and re-installed the app. The first thing I did was to immediately look for your profile. My previous anonymous account was blocked by you when I couldn't control the urge but to message you and somehow you knew it was me.

You look so good now. Really, I can see happiness on your face. You seem to be a little bit slimmer? When was the last time you smiled so happily when you were with me? Did you? Or was I too preoccupied with my own stuff and not noticed it?

I saw a jacket was placed on your back. It must be someone many times better than me who knows how to cherish you. The jacket looks nice. It must be someone who knows how to dress well unlike me who is wearing the same jumper that you hated.

I have been telling people how much I miss you. How much I would love to see you, to know how you are doing. I told people I wouldn't mind seeing you with another guy, as long as I get the chance, to just see you.

So now, I saw you, though indirectly, and is able to guess that you must be dating someone and most likely you are feeling happy. So what now?

Am I jealous? Yes, a bit. He must be way better than me.

But do I have the right to be jealous to feel sour? I don't think so. Every day and night, I kept thinking about you. Everything seemed to be able to trigger my memory of you of ours. Many times I would say to myself, I should have done this and that, I shouldn't have done this and that.

But isn't it too late now? I dunno.

On your profile you say you are looking for friends though you are single. But will it be changed to I'm attached the next time I look at it. What can I do? It's none of my business right?

At the same time I am also worried that you will meet bad guys, guys who just wan to play around. I am afraid you will be used. I dunno. Who am I to think about all these for you.

I will have a test again tomorrow. It will be 25 days since my unprotected oral sex.

I am having diarrhea today. Could it be because of the curry from the local Indian shop I had last night? Or is it a sign that I am infected or something?

Family is coming this Friday all the way from Malaysia. What if something bad happens to me. Will I have enough strength to deal with it?

I just had Imodium. What if it gets more serious tonight? Will I be panicked?

Again, you don't care right? You shouldn't. And you won't see this anyway.
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Comments

  1. soul232August 5, 2013 at 11:46 PM

    but we do....well I do =)

    It wont be easy to be happy for someone u love that is no longer urs

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownAugust 6, 2013 at 2:03 AM

    You have my support =)

    He will always inside your heart, but when time passes you will see it in painless and grateful way =)

    ReplyDelete

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